Q. The main line of the music is piano. It shows a story of a man and a woman in love and they take a trip to the carnival. The woman ends up cheating on the man with the circus clown so he kills himself. After he's crumpled on the pavement a large old man pulls his heart out with his cane. Throughout the entire video the old man is tattooing the events that led to the man's death on his heart.
A. no hablo ingles
need some relationship advice?
Q. i have been with my current partner for 10 years, we are engaged with a 2yr old child.
my reason for not being married yet is financial and situational. we have spent 9 of the 10 years basically in debt and needing to live with other people.
we met in computer 3d class when we were 20. we both have artistic backgrounds.
the main source of our problems at the moment is that she feels I'm not the same person i was when we met, i have almost nothing to do with art anymore and my focus is 'money'. which is true.
from my point of view, art was never going to buy us a home let alone keep the debt collectors at bay. so two years ago i quit my graphic design job and asked my father to teach my his trade. i now (as of xmas 2010) have been working for myself and making decent money. i've managed to pay off a lot of debt, buy a decent, safe and reliable family car, update some needed household items etc.. the payoff however has been my time.
i work a job that is either all or nothing, being that if work is there, i need to take it cos it may not be there tomorrow. for example my last two weeks have gone like this, i worked 11 days straight, each day starting early (7-8am) and the earliest i would get home would have been around 7pm, 2am being the latest, only to get up the next morning and do it all again. i just took friday and saturday off, and i used it to take my parter to the movies, my child to the doctors and then saturday went shopping with them both. today being sunday i had to work again. and the cycle continues.
she feels i'm no longer the person she met, being that she met an artist.
i feel that since we now have a child it is my responsibility to provide for my family, i need to be able to be self sufficient to be able to provide all the things that families need etc.. I'm trying real hard to be able to balance this job with family life, as if my family goes then so does my reason for working so hard.
I'm trying to work 4 days a week (since the days are so long) and give myself a day to recover (as the job is quite physically demanding) and that allows 2 days to dedicate to my family and help around the house.
my main gripe with her is that she has basically given up, she demands a lot from me (time wise), she expects that when I'm home, having a day off work that i will take the load of the house and give her a break, when i really need the break myself.
she spends most of her time on an online computer game, she enjoys video editing so she uses the game to create videos.
she basically neglects most of the house hold things such as cleaning and cooking. I'm not a guy that expects the misses to cook and clean etc.. but i do believe that it's a team thing, and if one person is bringing home the bacon the other contributes by helping out with the other stuff.
she hates cooking and after work i have to cook most of the time, to which i enjoy but not after a 12 hour plus day.
dishes are never done, clothes are never washed� i don't understand why helping out is so difficult.
she does look after our 2yr old, quite well i might add.
we placed our child in daycare 2 days a week, but she uses those days to play her online game uninterrupted.
i feel she spends too much time on her game and not enough time with day to day things.
she feels my expectations of a stay at home mum are too high, whereas i don't feel they are.
she feels i use the excuse "i work" as a trump card that she can't top, so she doesn't bother at all.
she also feels like she has lost her own sense of herself, in that, i have all the 'control' in the household and she just bows down and lets me have my way.
to which i disagree as everything I'm doing is for her, she just doesn't see it the same way.
she is trying to get back her own 'power', one way in which she is doing this is by getting a tattoo.
when we first started going out she mentioned she wanted to get a big arse tattoo down her arm. now unfortunately she's a heavy set woman and extremely pale skinned and as an artist i just know it won't look any good.
but on top of that, i have a phobia about permanent tattoo on one's skin. and i asked her to promise me that whilst we were together that she'd agree to never get a tattoo, because i can't handle it. (i also made mention that smoking was a deal breaker).
might sound harsh or some people might say controlling, but i feel that if i don't like asian women, then i simply don't date asian women, hence i hate tattoo's and smoking so i let her know before we got too serious.
so one night when she broke down, she made mention she has no control, not even if she gets a tattoo or not.
so i said, ok, fine.. you can do whatever you like. but you know how i feel about them.
so she is now deciding to get one, and looking for one. i've decided to help her find a good o
so she is now deciding to get one, and looking for one. i've decided to help her find a good one, cos i figure if she is going to get one it better be a damn good one. i know she wants a large one, that the world can see.. but i really need it to be something i can't see. (out of sight out of mind type of deal).
she wants its on her chest/shoulder.. basically above her breast but below her shoulder. and to me that's something i will see a lot of. i feel it will be a turn off when being intimate and could lead to further relationship problems.
i mentioned on her inner ankle (trying to keep it small and out of sight) she's thinking her wrist if not her chest, or her upper back. but again, when you hug/spoon with someone at night, it's again something that will repulse me.
so yeah, that's her way of being "in control" i guess.
i don't know what to do.
my reason for not being married yet is financial and situational. we have spent 9 of the 10 years basically in debt and needing to live with other people.
we met in computer 3d class when we were 20. we both have artistic backgrounds.
the main source of our problems at the moment is that she feels I'm not the same person i was when we met, i have almost nothing to do with art anymore and my focus is 'money'. which is true.
from my point of view, art was never going to buy us a home let alone keep the debt collectors at bay. so two years ago i quit my graphic design job and asked my father to teach my his trade. i now (as of xmas 2010) have been working for myself and making decent money. i've managed to pay off a lot of debt, buy a decent, safe and reliable family car, update some needed household items etc.. the payoff however has been my time.
i work a job that is either all or nothing, being that if work is there, i need to take it cos it may not be there tomorrow. for example my last two weeks have gone like this, i worked 11 days straight, each day starting early (7-8am) and the earliest i would get home would have been around 7pm, 2am being the latest, only to get up the next morning and do it all again. i just took friday and saturday off, and i used it to take my parter to the movies, my child to the doctors and then saturday went shopping with them both. today being sunday i had to work again. and the cycle continues.
she feels i'm no longer the person she met, being that she met an artist.
i feel that since we now have a child it is my responsibility to provide for my family, i need to be able to be self sufficient to be able to provide all the things that families need etc.. I'm trying real hard to be able to balance this job with family life, as if my family goes then so does my reason for working so hard.
I'm trying to work 4 days a week (since the days are so long) and give myself a day to recover (as the job is quite physically demanding) and that allows 2 days to dedicate to my family and help around the house.
my main gripe with her is that she has basically given up, she demands a lot from me (time wise), she expects that when I'm home, having a day off work that i will take the load of the house and give her a break, when i really need the break myself.
she spends most of her time on an online computer game, she enjoys video editing so she uses the game to create videos.
she basically neglects most of the house hold things such as cleaning and cooking. I'm not a guy that expects the misses to cook and clean etc.. but i do believe that it's a team thing, and if one person is bringing home the bacon the other contributes by helping out with the other stuff.
she hates cooking and after work i have to cook most of the time, to which i enjoy but not after a 12 hour plus day.
dishes are never done, clothes are never washed� i don't understand why helping out is so difficult.
she does look after our 2yr old, quite well i might add.
we placed our child in daycare 2 days a week, but she uses those days to play her online game uninterrupted.
i feel she spends too much time on her game and not enough time with day to day things.
she feels my expectations of a stay at home mum are too high, whereas i don't feel they are.
she feels i use the excuse "i work" as a trump card that she can't top, so she doesn't bother at all.
she also feels like she has lost her own sense of herself, in that, i have all the 'control' in the household and she just bows down and lets me have my way.
to which i disagree as everything I'm doing is for her, she just doesn't see it the same way.
she is trying to get back her own 'power', one way in which she is doing this is by getting a tattoo.
when we first started going out she mentioned she wanted to get a big arse tattoo down her arm. now unfortunately she's a heavy set woman and extremely pale skinned and as an artist i just know it won't look any good.
but on top of that, i have a phobia about permanent tattoo on one's skin. and i asked her to promise me that whilst we were together that she'd agree to never get a tattoo, because i can't handle it. (i also made mention that smoking was a deal breaker).
might sound harsh or some people might say controlling, but i feel that if i don't like asian women, then i simply don't date asian women, hence i hate tattoo's and smoking so i let her know before we got too serious.
so one night when she broke down, she made mention she has no control, not even if she gets a tattoo or not.
so i said, ok, fine.. you can do whatever you like. but you know how i feel about them.
so she is now deciding to get one, and looking for one. i've decided to help her find a good o
so she is now deciding to get one, and looking for one. i've decided to help her find a good one, cos i figure if she is going to get one it better be a damn good one. i know she wants a large one, that the world can see.. but i really need it to be something i can't see. (out of sight out of mind type of deal).
she wants its on her chest/shoulder.. basically above her breast but below her shoulder. and to me that's something i will see a lot of. i feel it will be a turn off when being intimate and could lead to further relationship problems.
i mentioned on her inner ankle (trying to keep it small and out of sight) she's thinking her wrist if not her chest, or her upper back. but again, when you hug/spoon with someone at night, it's again something that will repulse me.
so yeah, that's her way of being "in control" i guess.
i don't know what to do.
A. My dear friend,accept my congratulations as you are a wonderful husband material.Any woman can be proud of you.And it is always fate for such good man that he does not get good understanding partner.I am with you for not allowing a tattoo.It disfigures a woman.Even I hate a tattooed women.It may look odd and unusual but my suggestion is,as you are not married her,you can leave her.You wil be able to work and adjust your time,including rest,freely.Your mind will be at peace and without any tension.You can provide for her and your child.And anyhow you do not have house,
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