Minggu, 26 Januari 2014

Why do people make fun of me for liking hairy men?

Q. I go crazy over hairy men, and I like it all over, including the back, down there, and I like heavily hairy men too, but why do people ridicule me for it? Purple I know are always giving me crap over it. No one makes fun of them for liking men who shave which used to be considered feminine. Why an I the butt of everyone s jokes?

A. because they are culturally manipulated lardheads that have been brainwashed by the media into thinking that hair anywhere but the head is gross. And this has been acomplished in less than one generation, first with women, and now - absurdly - with men. The latter effort is not yet complete, but it likely will be in the not too distant future. Why? Because hair removal is a multi billion dollar a year business in the U.S., and there is NO profit in convincing people they are fine the way they are.

When I was in High School, a mere thirty or so years ago, well, I frankly didn't know of or had heard of more than one or two girls that shaved her beaver, and those did so at the urging of the odd boyfriend, whom nearly every other male considered to be a rank wierdo, even a semi-sick fetishist with a peccadillo not dissimilar in it's substructure from pedophilia. In fact, GASP....a nice big fluffy bush was considered a turn-on by the majority of neophyte or soon-to-be sexually active males. And women in general didn't want to suffer through all manner of personal torture to serve up a sandpaper snatch, and many would flatly refuse men that pestered them to do so.

Well, it didn't take the crowd in charge of capitalizing and profiting on human insecurity that this was an unacceptable state of affairs. In a mere couple of decades they obviated thousands of years of natural male preference by phasing in shaved and waxed rubber tub toy female porn stars, Sports Illustrated models wearing swimsuit bottoms that consisted of some string and a miniscule triangular fabric flap barely high enough and wide enough to cover the great divide (with nary a hair exposed anywhere) and dutifully waxed and zapped Stroke Book (like Playboy) models. The first generation of males that grew up jerking off to split baloney as bald as a baby's butt demanded that their sexual partners shave and wax and zap and eliminate the down down there, which suddenly, among sore-handed, sheep-like males, had become about as attractive as its having been smeared with moose excrement. But did they stop there? Hell no. Now men are expected to follow suit.

Well, piss on that. I have hair everywhere except the soles of my feet, my palms, the top half of my face and a FEW other places. I'll be dipped in moose crap if I'm killing god know how many hours and gods knows how much money getting rid of it. Keeps me warm, and there are still plenty of women that like it (especially European women, and free thinkers like yourself that refuse to have their preferences determined by fashion rags and Fu*ckFilms). And the ones that don't tend to be shallow, media brainwashed airheads I can do without, anyway. Sean Connery has never had much trouble getting laid. Neither have I.

It bears mentioning that I also knew of no women in HIgh School and only a couple in college that had paid good money for ugly, phony jugs. Very few died their hair. Hardly any males or females had holes drilled in their faces with metal hanging in them - and none had hubcaps in idioticially stretched ears - very few had tattoos (and those that did were nearly all rednecks) - nobody I knew of had even heard of "hair extensions," blacks didn't braid their hair into a collection of greasy rows and strings tinted in colors unfit for baboon posteriors, and NOBODY shot crap into their lips.

Also, no one needed a different machine for every concievable exercise, or a different gizmo for every operation in the kitchen. There were virtually no tanning booths outside of California and perhaps no more than a half dozen plastic surgeons in all but the largest metro areas.

Starting to see pattern here? Anyone else feel like maybe, just MAYBE, the money grubbers line their pockets by making people unhappy with the body they were born with are making jackasses of nearly the lot of you?

By the way, men shaving all their body hair IS fruity and feminine, because men that do it are pushovers - for both media manipulated bimbos and the aforementioned money grubbers.


May I have a really funny joke that will catch the attention of my audience?
Q. They can be bad jokes also!

It's for my class! I'm a tenth grade in high school! So they must be appropriate!

Thanks in advance!

A. Here are a couple that might be appropriate:

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mom' . With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Dad.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...... Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your son, Jonathan

P. S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home
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There were these two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through the hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you�ve wished to do the most."

He looks at her, she looks at him and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and the giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left. Would you care to do it again ?"
He asks her, "Shall we ?"
She eagerly replies, "Oh yes, let�s! But let�s change positions.

This time, I�ll hold the pigeon down and you sh+t on its head !"





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