Minggu, 24 November 2013

My boyfriend likes girls with tattoos...help?

Q. Ok so this is a very long story... but i really need some advice as idk what else to do.

My bf and I have been dating for over 4 1/2 years already. We have always been very happy and our relationship has been great. We first started having a some problems when he got a new job and his supervisor was a tattooed girl with piercings and crazy hair. She was not attractive but had that "suicide girl look". He never expressed any feelings for her and thought she was ugly. months went on and slowly i noticed they were becoming work buddys. He started being more secretive about her and she would flirt with him right in front of him. i told him i did not like her and to stop talking to her and keep it professional. He didn't like that idea and claimed she was just his "friend". so this went on for a while and finally one day he told me that he was sort of "attracted to her & liked her style". that really hurt my feelings because i was right all along. anyways, we somehow made it after all that. However, i have never forgotten about it and still resent it.

a couple of days ago, i was on his laptop and while typing a URL, her tumblr popped up. This infuriated me. Why was he looking at her tumblr? it had been over a year! he didn't see when i saw the tumblr so i confronted him saying that i saw a girls blog. he panicked so much and lied for his life. presented me with a suicide girl's tumblr. I was crushed because he had just lied to me about her again. told me he was just "curious". may i add this was all on my birthday?! anyways i forgave him again like i always do.

then we go back to tumblr.... he has a tumblr dedicated to "tattooed girls". i've known about it but never asked to see it and gave him privacy. so after my bday incident when he showed me the suicide girls tumblr, i wanted to see it. i did and he only followed about 9 people, and liked about 40ish photos (all tattood women). then i see the women he had previously showed met that he thought was really hot and guess what? she looks just like her supervisor.... i was very upset at that. I've had just about enough giving him so many chances and trying to "understand"guys needs. so i thought i deserved to express myself, i told him he could keep looking at those girl on tumblr but not the one that looked like his supervisor. he said he never made the connection between the two but idk if that true because he will lie for his life to not make me upset. he promised me he would not look at her because he didn't want to loose me. Wrong, he still looks at her although i said i didn't want him to.

my thing is, i am aware that he watches adult movies online, has a tumblr with naked tattooed women and i have said that is ok as long as its during his private time and doesn't make it personal (he had looked some up on instagram and had several wallpapers on his comp). and yet he cannot understand and leave ONE girl alone although it makes me very upset because it looks like her supervisor?!?!?!

and now he tells me that he now goes on his tumblr more often then ever. that me being "jelous" and telling him not to look at that one suicide girl makes him want to even more. so lately he has been going on his tumblr everyday and liking many photos. i am just so confused and don't know what to do. he says he thinks girls with tattoos look hot but would never ever date one and that he doesn't really care if they are the most attractive girls as long as they have tattoos which is he found his supervisor "attractive". However this worries me because now every time i see a girl with tattoos i feel like his is drooling over her.

he always tells me he loves me and the way i look.

About me: I would consider myself an attractive girl and very sweet. I don't want to sound conceded but many guys express that they think I'm beautiful, hot, cute etc. Ironically I've always liked tattoos and piercing and think some girls do look attractive. I have 3 body piercings, gauges, and several ear piercings. I also have future appointments for tattoos to get done on me.

Please help. Anything. I know its a lot of info but any advice will help.

A. Look, you've told him how you feel about him ogling those pictures and you've asked him countless times to stop. He still does it. What does that tell you?
He doesn't respect you or your feelings.
Having certain preferences is fine, and he may well genuinely love you.
But when your fantasies start spilling over and causing problems in your personal life, that's when it stops being a preference and starts becoming an obssession.
Deep down, are you planning these tattoo appointments because YOU want them? Or are you doing it because you're trying to "keep" him?
If it's for you, then fine. But if even a small part of you thinks that he'll be more "attracted" to you, or will treat you better if you are tattooed as well, then I would urge you not to do it.
It's fair enough liking tattoes, but when you're with someone, you're not with them for their body art. You're with them for the person they are... And you accept them as they are.
If he doesn't respect you, honour you, and treat you right NOW, then he is never going to... Tattoed or not!
I think you need you either accept that this is the way he will always be and stop expecting him to change, or walk away and find someone you trust, who makes you feel secure and loved.


Should I get this tattoo? (Picture)?
Q. I want to get this tattoo on my lower back, in black. Not to big, just like a medium size. And please don't say "If you want to look like a slut" or "TRAMP STAMP!" or anything like that. I want some real opinions please. Or if you have any pictures of tattoos that you think are cooler, or any other ideas, please let me know. Thanks..
here's the picture...

http://tattoodestination.com/Lower-Back-Tattoos.jpg
also, i was thinking like in place of the heart, have like a certain date. like 4.24.04 or like enitials or something

A. I think that tattoo would look very pretty on your lower back!

here are some other lower back tattoos, hope I helped! :)

http://www.rankmytattoos.com/f/wmimages/lower-back-tribal-tattoo-117555568511992.jpg

http://www.rankmytattoos.com/f/wmimages/lower-back-tattoo-11539689077253.jpg

http://www.lower-back-tattoos.com/image/back-1a.jpg

http://www.gii.in/wallpapers/data/media/97/Lower-Back-Tattoos-6.jpg

http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dlower%2Bback%2Btattoos%26b%3D64%26ni%3D21%26ei%3DUTF-8%26pstart%3D1%26fr%3Dfptb-hptb5-701&w=145&h=81&imgurl=www.cherrycreekflash.com%2Fimages%2Fdesigns%2FGSF-00379%2FGSF-00379_thumb.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cherrycreekflash.com%2Flower%2520back-tattoos.html&size=11k&name=GSF+00379+thumb+...&p=lower+back+tattoos&oid=bb5a6ef8be733172&fr2=&no=66&tt=9569&b=64&ni=21&sigr=11p1281lq&sigi=1251oo6di&sigb=13g0r24jr

http://offbeatink.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/lower-back-tattoo-on-woman.jpg





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