Q. I am facing the choice of reconstruction surgery and have heard good and bad reports about this surgery. I would like to hear from other women or men that have wives who have had this surgery. Please explain your results and any complications.
A. I had reconstruction after I was done with chemo and radiation.
I chose to have a diep flap done, but since my tummy was so small , and my original breasts were so big, I also had to have a saline implant put in. This surgery consists of the plastic surgeon removing the fat and skin and a large blood vessel from your belly button down to you pubic area. They take this flap and attach the blood vessel and then attach the rest. There is a 4-5 day hospital stay after this surgery. You will feel like a truck hit you but it does get better.
Keep in mind that the reconstructed breasts are not going to look exactly like the original ones. Bras and shirts will fit a little different, and you will not have any feeling in the breast.
You can also get implants put in. You will first have to have stretchers put in and then they will insert the implant. This is a personal decision and it's not an easy one to make. I am glad that I did it, it made me feel more complete. After reconstruction you will have to decide if you want a nipple. I have had this surgery, but in most women as with mine it usually shrinks up to nothing. If you want the color tattooed on they can do that also, but that usually fades to nothing.
I did have to have 8 surgeries to have my reconstruction completed. You will leave the hospital with drains in which you have probably had after your mastectomy. It is about 8-10 weeks recovery.
I am pretty happy with the results.
I hope this helps out and doesn't scare you.
I chose to have a diep flap done, but since my tummy was so small , and my original breasts were so big, I also had to have a saline implant put in. This surgery consists of the plastic surgeon removing the fat and skin and a large blood vessel from your belly button down to you pubic area. They take this flap and attach the blood vessel and then attach the rest. There is a 4-5 day hospital stay after this surgery. You will feel like a truck hit you but it does get better.
Keep in mind that the reconstructed breasts are not going to look exactly like the original ones. Bras and shirts will fit a little different, and you will not have any feeling in the breast.
You can also get implants put in. You will first have to have stretchers put in and then they will insert the implant. This is a personal decision and it's not an easy one to make. I am glad that I did it, it made me feel more complete. After reconstruction you will have to decide if you want a nipple. I have had this surgery, but in most women as with mine it usually shrinks up to nothing. If you want the color tattooed on they can do that also, but that usually fades to nothing.
I did have to have 8 surgeries to have my reconstruction completed. You will leave the hospital with drains in which you have probably had after your mastectomy. It is about 8-10 weeks recovery.
I am pretty happy with the results.
I hope this helps out and doesn't scare you.
How can a woman dress to turn men off from her or communicate a lack of interest in men?
Q. How can a woman dress to turn men off from her or communicate a lack of interest in men? Or what can they do or how can they behave to communicate this?
A. Do you REALLY want to do this? Because I am going to give you advice and I bet you won't want to take it, because it will detract 99% of the men who would otherwise hit on you, including the ones who you probably DO want to attract.
1. Cut your hair in a mullet. And don't style it all cute, with bangs that fall casually into your face. Have it blend really harsh, and have it be too short on the top for any girlish accessories. That, right there ... sends a clear signal to most men.
--- If the haircut isn't enough ---
2. Wear something like baggy cargo pants with suspenders, or overalls.
3. Get a few piercings, and wear jewelry that looks rough.
4. Try some anti-social or anti-establishment tattoos.
5. Clip your nails very short and don't put any glaze on them, at all.
DON'T
- wear makeup
- wear skirts, dresses, pumps or heels.
and EVEN THEN ... after you have made these modifications in your appearance, there will be men who approach you.
Better advice ...
Just politely tell men that you are not interested. Because unless you are willing to alter your appearance like that (which conveys signals that might draw other types of problems to you) men will still approach you.
Another solution that I used to use, was get a fake wedding set, and wear something like a very visible cross around your neck. That tells them "Christian Married Woman" and generally they will leave you alone. Religious men will leave you alone, and so will non-religious ones who are creeped out by your crucifix.
1. Cut your hair in a mullet. And don't style it all cute, with bangs that fall casually into your face. Have it blend really harsh, and have it be too short on the top for any girlish accessories. That, right there ... sends a clear signal to most men.
--- If the haircut isn't enough ---
2. Wear something like baggy cargo pants with suspenders, or overalls.
3. Get a few piercings, and wear jewelry that looks rough.
4. Try some anti-social or anti-establishment tattoos.
5. Clip your nails very short and don't put any glaze on them, at all.
DON'T
- wear makeup
- wear skirts, dresses, pumps or heels.
and EVEN THEN ... after you have made these modifications in your appearance, there will be men who approach you.
Better advice ...
Just politely tell men that you are not interested. Because unless you are willing to alter your appearance like that (which conveys signals that might draw other types of problems to you) men will still approach you.
Another solution that I used to use, was get a fake wedding set, and wear something like a very visible cross around your neck. That tells them "Christian Married Woman" and generally they will leave you alone. Religious men will leave you alone, and so will non-religious ones who are creeped out by your crucifix.
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