Q. A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. She gets into the chair and tells the tattoo artist, "I want two tattoos, one on each of my inner thighs. I want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other."
The tattoo artist begins his work, but is a bit confused, so he says, "Lady, I'll do anything my customers want, but I gotta ask, why would you want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other?"
"Well, if you really want to know," she firmly answers, "I'm sick and tired of my husband telling me that there's never anything to eat between the holidays."
What is six inches long with a head on it, that women like to blow?
MONEY.
A man takes his wife to a livestock show. They start heading down the alley where the bulls are kept. A sign in front of the first bull says: "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year! You could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and that sign states: "This bull mated 65 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That's over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, big time."
They proceed to the last bull and his sign reads: "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife's mouth drops open as she gasps, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That's ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one!"
The man turns to his wife and says, "Yeah, okay. Go on up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."
The tattoo artist begins his work, but is a bit confused, so he says, "Lady, I'll do anything my customers want, but I gotta ask, why would you want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other?"
"Well, if you really want to know," she firmly answers, "I'm sick and tired of my husband telling me that there's never anything to eat between the holidays."
What is six inches long with a head on it, that women like to blow?
MONEY.
A man takes his wife to a livestock show. They start heading down the alley where the bulls are kept. A sign in front of the first bull says: "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year! You could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and that sign states: "This bull mated 65 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That's over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, big time."
They proceed to the last bull and his sign reads: "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife's mouth drops open as she gasps, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That's ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one!"
The man turns to his wife and says, "Yeah, okay. Go on up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."
A. Lots of smiles. I think the woman in joke one and the man in joke two should get together and discuss the reason behind the meaning of MONEY
Where's the best place to put a tattoo?
Q. Where is the best place to put a tattoo on a woman out of sight, taking pregnancies into effect. I was thinking hips. I don't want any on my back.
A. On your skin! OK bad joke. There are a few places that will warp less with weight gain/loss or pregnancy. A lot of the people had it right with wrists/ankles/calves.
Wrist tattoos are delicate and (IMO) attractive. My friend has a wrist tattoo and she hides it with a watch or a bracelet.
Also, if you have longer hair, behind the ear is a nice place that won't stretch terribly with weight gain. It can be shown off easily with wearing your hair up, but hidden just by wearing your hair down or using stage makeup.
Wrist tattoos are delicate and (IMO) attractive. My friend has a wrist tattoo and she hides it with a watch or a bracelet.
Also, if you have longer hair, behind the ear is a nice place that won't stretch terribly with weight gain. It can be shown off easily with wearing your hair up, but hidden just by wearing your hair down or using stage makeup.
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